My One and Only (28)

Feras.........


"Ferasooo wain raye7...." yelled 3azooz confused. But i grabbed my '3itra oo 6ela3t, oo on my way out i passed 6alal's beaming face as people were congratulating him.

"feras barikle a5eeran batzawaj...!" said 6alal to me, grabbing me oo elebtesama shagga wayha shag...!




sheno moo m9adig el a5 enna byetzawaj...?!? uffff akeed mo m9adig wain be7a9ila wa7da nafs lulu.......




I forced a smile at my face, "bilbaraka....." i said as i patted him on the back.



"yallah el fal lik..." he said with a wink.


kan el fal lee ...oo kan 3ndy el niya oo el bnaya bs elle knt abeeha enta el7een 5a6ib'ha...!!!


i smiled at the irony of the whole situation. i am speaking AND congratulating the man who took my future wife away from me for himself to wed. Can it get any worse ..?!?


I went outside and headed to the car with a myraid of emotions playing all at once.


i'm furious, angry, sad,hopeless, shocked, confused.......!!


i just feel like punching 6alal in the face and knocking all of his teeth off.....oo amsa7 el '6a7ka elle 3ala wayha!I threw my '3itra over my shoulder, balled my fists up ,started breathing heavily, with my nose flared and my teeth gritted as i headed to the car.



Sha'3alt elsayara oo dst 3al banzeen oo madry wain baroo7 bs knt abe a6la3 mn el mokan. That explains laish kanat moo 3ala ba3a'6ha youm cheft'ha ib ilsal7iya. bs shlon.....SHLON..?!? ana moo gader af'ham shlon et7acheene el9b7 oo tet'3ashmar oo tet'6a7ak weyay...kanat imbayin inha mestansa o tabe etkalimne.....bss 6ol halmoda kanat tel3ab 3al 7ablain. anna 7obi laha 3amani....3ashan chethe youm knt agolaha terfi'6 6alal kanat et'6aye3 elsalfa aw etgool ee akeed bagool l2. Matwa8a3t kil hatha ye6la3 minha....oo elmoshkila inna knt abe ome te56ib'ha bacher ib 3asha 9aloo7 !!!



I laugh escaped my mouth...an angry laugh. i then suddenly realized inne knt asoog nafs elmeyaneen...el 3addad 6aaf il 140 oo ana moo 7as ibroo7e. 5affaft oo re7t elba7ar, sefa6t oo nezalt oo re7t ga3adt 3al korse oo 7a6ait ryoole 3al sa5ar oo sanadt eede 3ala erkabi , a6ali3 el ba7ar. lafait wala achoof wa7id,

"law sema7t 3ndik zigara...."

"ee tfa'6al...." i went over and put the cigarette in my mouth, and he lightened it up for me. Shikarta oo re7t ge3adt mokani.....knt ga3ed ada5in ibsharaha...bs as7ab oo a6ali3...oo ana achoof il ba7ar oo asma3 the sound of the waves crashing at the shore. I shouldn't be smoking, i quit 6 years ago when my mother pleaded me to stop, i just couldnt see her like this so i stopped. Bs i need it right now, i need it all ...!!!



I recalled everything about lulu, from the moment i carried her to my car to when i saw her in her stunning red dress, to when i kissed her passionetly, to when we joked and fooled around in the parking lot eating doughnuts, to the late phonecalls and msgs between us..........everything seemed perfect....SEEMED! I inhaled the last of what was left of the cigarette, i threw it on the ground and stepped on it with my leg. I sat there watching the flames die down slowly 'till only ashes remained. I took a deep breath, then looked back up at the sea that glistened with the moonlight casted on it as i played with my phone in my hand.



a tear crawled down my face but i quickly brushed it away ...now angry with myself....

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Lulu......





i sat there lifelessly on my bed staring at the ceiling with blurred vision from the unshed tears that lurked in my eyes. Every now and then i would suddenly gasp for air, and my tears come streaming down my face again. It's been like that since my mother confirmed to me that she spoke to om 6alal and everything has been aranged. I would look at my mobile too and wonder if Feras will msg me or call me to explain why he's acting like nothing's happened. I don't get him, but oh, how i just hoped that he would call me and explain everything to me. I wanted him to tell me the truth and no matter what it was i would go back to him for sure. i would surrender into his arms and beg him never to leave me again and to never stop loving me as he surely would be calming me down with his tender strokes and kisses.



I love him.....i love him so bad...!!!



I gasped again, and a sob escaped my trembling lips. I hugged the pillow to my chest so tight thinking that it would keep me from falling apart or lessen the pain. I cried and sobbed so hard, and i dont know why. I should be mad at him and furious, not cry and weep over him.



i laid there on my bed listening to the words of the songs on my i-pod and cried even more when i got to the song "one more time" by richard marx



nothing i must do....

no where i should be...

no one in my life...

to answer to my need...

no more candle light.....

no more purple sky...



i gasped and closed my eyes shut as i continued listening to the song...........



no one to be near...

cause my heart slowly dies...

if i could hold you one more time..

like in the days when you were mine...

i look at you 'till i was blind so you would stay...

i'd say a prayer each time you smile...

cradle all the moments like a child....

i'd stop the world if only i , could hold you one more time....



i memorized your face..

i know you touched my heart...

still lost in your embrace...

i dream of where you are....



"Laish Feras...laish...." i whipered as i sobbed, "maby atzawaj 6alal, i want you, only you....you're my one and only.....my one and only......but you left me no choice and 6alal yabeene oo shareene....."



I just hoped he wont be at 9ali7's 3asha, i cant see him, i'm not strong enough to see him......





My phone suddenly flashed,



1 msg received

My One

Mabrook.....

sent 3:46 a.m.

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Adry wayed 3awar galb bs inshalla it gets better......

oo listen to the song "One more time" richard marx to get into the mood of what lulu was crying about......

LUV U GUYS WALLA WALLA WALLAAAAAAAA ;*********