and to all my readers.....
I got into my car....heartbroken. i tell him that i love him oo the answer that i get is this..?! ive been holding it inside of me all these years oo when i finally have the courage to tell him, thats what i get...? i thought that he loved me, shared some feelings towards me.....the past few weeks i admitt i had my ups and downs with 6alal but the only thing that he provided were feelings that led me to think that our feelings towards eachother might be mutual. The way he cares about me, talks to me, holds me......kisses me! god, he kissed me.....what is that supposed to mean. And the kiss .....well, it set forth some intense feelings and i truly thought that he was gonna say the word soon.
But after what i did i guess that the word wont ever be heard from his mouth ever. If he only knew that the reason i became involved with a7mad was to forget him....try altleast. And just my luck, the guy turns out to be a total jerk.
I turned the engine on and backed away, i passed 6alals car which was still parked, then sped away.
Why cant i just let go of him....?? forget him ?? i know that ive grown up with him being my perfect man...but how it would be helpful if i could just throw him away and to never think about him. ive tried ..believe me ..ive tried but i always end up fooling myself that i dont love him anymore cause i do...i do..and nothing seems to overcome that. i said that i needed a person to help me forget him and i found a7mad....but that was stupid of me, what im gonna do is find a man who will help me forget 6alal bsss in a legal way....as husband and wife.
Akeed el7een ra7 tikrahni 3ala jawabi oo min 7agha bs shasawe y3ne...shlon atzawajha 3ugub elle sawita. tara mo sahla y3ne...mahma a7awil a8na3 nafsee mo gadir . oo a7ibha wallah inne a7ibha...bssss law kil hatha mo9ayir chan 3ala6ool gilt 7ag ilwalda ti56ible yaha oo nitzawaj mn'3air ta'6yee3 wagt.
bas el7een 3indi hal 7maar lazim a5alee yogaf 3ind 7adda, oo lazim afakir ibshay 3adil lena etha ma'6bi6at yimkin e3anid oo ysawee akthar mn chethee.
I sat in the car thinking 3an sheno agdar asawee 3ashan asa3id noora fee...oo ya 3ala balee rfeeje elle athi8 fee wayid.....Feras.
"hala hala wallah.....wainik enta ya5ee..."
"wallah mawjood...bs mash'3ool...enta shlonik...shlon il3obod..."
"wallah sheno shai6aan....thabi7naaa.....kahoo 3ad ga3d jidami oo 7a6 li3bita ibeeda y7awil ekasirha....3ABOOD BABA LAISH TKASIR LI3BITIK.....tsk tsk bas fali7 yi'67ak..."
"hahah ya7laila...wallah yabeele ashofa welaht 3alai 9ara7attan...."
"7ayaak ib ay wagt....wala agoolik ta3al el7een..3indik sho'3ol..."
"uhhh la walla....."
"ee yalla 3ayal na6rik..."
"okay msafat il6ireeej....femala..."
Sakkart iltelephone oo i headed to feras's place. Di5alt da5il....
"hala wallah..." salamt 3ala feras oo dishaina il9ala. "oh meno hatha ilshai6aan...." i said to 3abood elle kan y7awil ekasir li3bita...shafne oo ibtisam oo yaleee. mit3awid 3alai killa asheela oo a7thifa bilhawa oo amsika. b3d mashilta 7a6aita 3al ar'6.."ya7laila kobar wallah..."
"ay kobar ella mitan...shayif wayha shlon ba6a...."said feras and held 3aboods karsha in demonstration.
"ee a7la yahil mteen...."
"eee bas mo chethee....lulu bas mihnat'ha twakla...oo nasyatne ana...."
"tara sima3tik....." said lulu as she walked in the 9ala with a tray of sweets in her hands.
"ee oo allah yister youm tawldeen shbe9eer feene.....maja3a alla ywakeelik..." joked feras.
I looked at him, "lulu 7amil...?"
He beamed back at me, "eee bilrabi3 ehya..."
I looked at lulu and she had a smile on her face and a tiny bump, "bilbaraka.....!!!"
"mashkoor....3ad halmarra etha mobnaya 3ady anti7ir..." giggled lulu.
"laa inshalla bnaya....oho ilno3ain 7ilo..."
"ee 3ala goltik....bas 7alata bnaya tishbah lulu..." said feras as he lovingly looked at lulu. lulu blushed and changed the subject,
"yalla 3abood...yalla mama 3ashan tnaam....."
"maby maby...babaaaaaaaaaaaa...." ran 3abood and hugged feras. Lulu tried carrying him but he clung to his father and wouldnt let go.
"5aleee 5o la madrisa waraa wala shay...lata3been nafsich lulu mozainlich"
"waaaai feras borooood....!!! enzain oo ana... warai jam3a bacher..." pouted lulu, feras smiled back at her.
"entay lail7een mati5arajtay.."
"hehe la2 wagaft cham course youm tizawajt feras....yalla 3abood....offff feras 3afya goolaa...."
Feras tried everything, esa7la, yo3ida 3ala li3ba, yigrala 8i9a.....bss mako mayabee oo shakla baree2 ma3 5dooda.
"enzain asheelik oo asaweelik 6ayara....?"
His green eyes widened, "eeeeeeeee"
"yalla....." i carried him and threw him up in the air a couple of times, then held him and made airplane sounds and moved him in the air ya3ne 6ayara. "yalla bas....el7een roo7 naam ...."
"anawma oo ayeelokom...." smiled lulu as she went with 3abood.
"ti9ala7taw ya3ne...." i grinned.
"eee...6ila3 dala3 il7amaaal....eha ham makanat tadry enha 7amil...."
"ahhh....sima3t enhom y9eeroon 7asaseen wagt il7amaal..."
"eeeeee......allah y3eeeny....6al3aaat no9 illail lena mishtahya shay, tabche 3ala a8al shay...bsss killa yhoon youm ashoof ilyahil....."
"yalla 7amdilaa.....agool feras abeek tsa3idny ib maw'6oo3, oo mabee yi6la3 7ag a7ad 7attan lulu..."
I told him the story to the point, enna fee wa7id y2athy noora biljam3a oo chethee.
"....oo abeek tsa3idny awagfa 3ind 7adda...."
"wala yhimik,,, 5alid 9a7by, o5oo '6abi6 oo nyeeba y5ari3 hathaak shwaya..."
"twa8a3 yinfa3 chethee..."
"offfff...mista3meleenha 7ag katha wa7id...latsheel ham..."
I felt relief wash over me.
"5ala9 3ayal....tkalma 7agii..."
"ee el7een affa 3alaik...."
Feras called his friend oo itaf8aw 3ala bacher.
"mashkoor wala matga9ir..."
"walaw e7na rabi3 3ala sheno...yalla ikil ilcake latithba7na lulu ..ehya msawyita...."
I ate a bite oo la3at chabdi, feras fi9al 3alai.
"offff sheno hatha wayid 7aleee...."
"adry...9adigny....oo kil youm twakilne minna wara il'3ada oo anchi3im oo aklaa...elmoshkila ehya mataklaaa matishtihee 7ilo lenha 7amil madry laish....oo ana mibtilish..."
"yalla shinsawee b3d...aham shay enha ga3da t7awil....."
Gi3adna sowalif oo chethee oo b3dain gimt 3ashan amshee.
"yalla femala...salimlee 3ala llulu...wainha lail7een 3nd 3abood..."
"ee hatha yabeela sina 3alama ynam....el7een aroo7lohom.....yalla femala..."
rikabt ilsayara oo 6arrasht 7ag a7madoo msg
bashoofik bacher ib ***** sa3a 7 mota2a5ar.
I sent the message and headed home, thinking of noora.
P.S. i'll post part B as soon as im free..;*
Luv u ;***