Saturday, February 28, 2009
"Ferasooo wain raye7...." yelled 3azooz confused. But i grabbed my '3itra oo 6ela3t, oo on my way out i passed 6alal's beaming face as people were congratulating him.
"feras barikle a5eeran batzawaj...!" said 6alal to me, grabbing me oo elebtesama shagga wayha shag...!
sheno moo m9adig el a5 enna byetzawaj...?!? uffff akeed mo m9adig wain be7a9ila wa7da nafs lulu.......
I forced a smile at my face, "bilbaraka....." i said as i patted him on the back.
"yallah el fal lik..." he said with a wink.
kan el fal lee ...oo kan 3ndy el niya oo el bnaya bs elle knt abeeha enta el7een 5a6ib'ha...!!!
i smiled at the irony of the whole situation. i am speaking AND congratulating the man who took my future wife away from me for himself to wed. Can it get any worse ..?!?
I went outside and headed to the car with a myraid of emotions playing all at once.
i'm furious, angry, sad,hopeless, shocked, confused.......!!
i just feel like punching 6alal in the face and knocking all of his teeth off.....oo amsa7 el '6a7ka elle 3ala wayha!I threw my '3itra over my shoulder, balled my fists up ,started breathing heavily, with my nose flared and my teeth gritted as i headed to the car.
Sha'3alt elsayara oo dst 3al banzeen oo madry wain baroo7 bs knt abe a6la3 mn el mokan. That explains laish kanat moo 3ala ba3a'6ha youm cheft'ha ib ilsal7iya. bs shlon.....SHLON..?!? ana moo gader af'ham shlon et7acheene el9b7 oo tet'3ashmar oo tet'6a7ak weyay...kanat imbayin inha mestansa o tabe etkalimne.....bss 6ol halmoda kanat tel3ab 3al 7ablain. anna 7obi laha 3amani....3ashan chethe youm knt agolaha terfi'6 6alal kanat et'6aye3 elsalfa aw etgool ee akeed bagool l2. Matwa8a3t kil hatha ye6la3 minha....oo elmoshkila inna knt abe ome te56ib'ha bacher ib 3asha 9aloo7 !!!
I laugh escaped my mouth...an angry laugh. i then suddenly realized inne knt asoog nafs elmeyaneen...el 3addad 6aaf il 140 oo ana moo 7as ibroo7e. 5affaft oo re7t elba7ar, sefa6t oo nezalt oo re7t ga3adt 3al korse oo 7a6ait ryoole 3al sa5ar oo sanadt eede 3ala erkabi , a6ali3 el ba7ar. lafait wala achoof wa7id,
"law sema7t 3ndik zigara...."
"ee tfa'6al...." i went over and put the cigarette in my mouth, and he lightened it up for me. Shikarta oo re7t ge3adt mokani.....knt ga3ed ada5in ibsharaha...bs as7ab oo a6ali3...oo ana achoof il ba7ar oo asma3 the sound of the waves crashing at the shore. I shouldn't be smoking, i quit 6 years ago when my mother pleaded me to stop, i just couldnt see her like this so i stopped. Bs i need it right now, i need it all ...!!!
I recalled everything about lulu, from the moment i carried her to my car to when i saw her in her stunning red dress, to when i kissed her passionetly, to when we joked and fooled around in the parking lot eating doughnuts, to the late phonecalls and msgs between us..........everything seemed perfect....SEEMED! I inhaled the last of what was left of the cigarette, i threw it on the ground and stepped on it with my leg. I sat there watching the flames die down slowly 'till only ashes remained. I took a deep breath, then looked back up at the sea that glistened with the moonlight casted on it as i played with my phone in my hand.
a tear crawled down my face but i quickly brushed it away ...now angry with myself....
i sat there lifelessly on my bed staring at the ceiling with blurred vision from the unshed tears that lurked in my eyes. Every now and then i would suddenly gasp for air, and my tears come streaming down my face again. It's been like that since my mother confirmed to me that she spoke to om 6alal and everything has been aranged. I would look at my mobile too and wonder if Feras will msg me or call me to explain why he's acting like nothing's happened. I don't get him, but oh, how i just hoped that he would call me and explain everything to me. I wanted him to tell me the truth and no matter what it was i would go back to him for sure. i would surrender into his arms and beg him never to leave me again and to never stop loving me as he surely would be calming me down with his tender strokes and kisses.
I love him.....i love him so bad...!!!
I gasped again, and a sob escaped my trembling lips. I hugged the pillow to my chest so tight thinking that it would keep me from falling apart or lessen the pain. I cried and sobbed so hard, and i dont know why. I should be mad at him and furious, not cry and weep over him.
i laid there on my bed listening to the words of the songs on my i-pod and cried even more when i got to the song "one more time" by richard marx
nothing i must do....
no where i should be...
no one in my life...
to answer to my need...
no more candle light.....
no more purple sky...
i gasped and closed my eyes shut as i continued listening to the song...........
no one to be near...
cause my heart slowly dies...
if i could hold you one more time..
like in the days when you were mine...
i look at you 'till i was blind so you would stay...
i'd say a prayer each time you smile...
cradle all the moments like a child....
i'd stop the world if only i , could hold you one more time....
i memorized your face..
i know you touched my heart...
still lost in your embrace...
i dream of where you are....
"Laish Feras...laish...." i whipered as i sobbed, "maby atzawaj 6alal, i want you, only you....you're my one and only.....my one and only......but you left me no choice and 6alal yabeene oo shareene....."
I just hoped he wont be at 9ali7's 3asha, i cant see him, i'm not strong enough to see him......
My phone suddenly flashed,
1 msg received
sent 3:46 a.m.
Adry wayed 3awar galb bs inshalla it gets better......
oo listen to the song "One more time" richard marx to get into the mood of what lulu was crying about......
LUV U GUYS WALLA WALLA WALLAAAAAAAA ;*********
ana kuwaiti ana....ana gol oo fi3il oo 3zoome goweyaaaaaaaaaaa.............
6ayer mn el far7a 6ayer galbi 3ala naaaaar na6er thayer mn elshoug thayer w7ashne shof el q8....
3ashat lena lekuwait lekuwait oo 3ashaw ahal'ha welle e7ib lekuwait lekuwait e'6a7y lajil'ha.........
la teloomoony etha thbt ib hawahaa.....aw tamadait ib ma7abat'ha oo '3alaaahaaa...laa teloomoony ethe thbt bl kuwait oo nojoom et'3aar wallah mn 7alaaaaha.....ya b3d 3ry ente yal kuwait.....
hayalla....yalla.....hayalla...yalla yalla yaaaaaaallaaaaaaa......hayalla yalla hayalla....
eeeeeeeee 9ij enne knt barra il q8 fee 3eed il wa6anee bs 3ayyadt oo ana barra ma3 el a'3ane il wa6aniya oo el rags oo el fa9la.......... ;D
Dubai kanat wanasaaaaaaaaaaa....................
re7t el new mall elle oho dubai mall o kbeeeeeeeeeeeeer ashwa lebast flats chan thahry tekassar......oo sharait lain ma enshifaw floosy oo i had to ask my father to give me AGAIN (tara wallah a7ib oboy amoot fee maygoole la2 )
ooo re7t el walk oo chenna mo fe dubai ..il mokan 7ada 3ajeeb chena ga3deen fe european countries
emmmmm.....ee oo re7t atlantis...!!! WAYED wayed 7ilo....el bawaba elle chena aladin shakil'ha chena fe a cartoon..mo 9ij !!! 9ert yahil oo eshta6ait 3ala kl shay...mestawa il hotel chena mn mostawa hotailat Las Vegas...!!
oo gazait ib burjuman, emirates mall, ma6a3im, dubai marina mall, jumaira, oo chethe.....
7elo ta'3yeer el jaw...... ;)))))
bs walla eshtagtlikom WAYED oo welaht 3alaikom ib shakl mo 6abee3e
ee youm knt bdbai marait 3nd hotel Miraje oo katbeen "one and only miraje" oo 9ar feene alaaaaaaaaaaa isim my story !!!! Ya anaaaaaaaaaaa.....hehe ;))))
ok back to where i left off.............ee abe abaweskom kilikom oo inshalla etha medani i post today
el7een i have to go gabl ma omy et6egne lena 9ayerlaha sina etnadeene oo tgoole ay malabis wa95een oo aye asheel my new stuff oo chethe
Monday, February 23, 2009
to 3anooda oo anonymous
this part oo bas (min 9iji) ;)))
I tried calling her several times, msging her bs mako fayda she wont answer me back ! Ana sawait shay eza3ilha...glt shay....?? i wanted to follow her and ask her why she was acting that way so bad bs my sister ma3ay fa magdrt plus, fashla jidam elnas. I sat there in the car confused moo 3arif shilli 9arlaha.....
Elyoum kalamt'ha oo i msged her youm kanat bl jam3a oo kanat tet'3ashmar oo te'67ak oo mafeeha wala shay.....shesalfa !!!
My sister kanat ga3da bl sayara madry shet5arbi6 3ala rassi bs i wasnt listening, my mind was occupied with Lulu. She captivated me as she was walking towards me oo ertibakt. Nesait kl elle 7awalai oo bs knt mntibih 3alaiha oo ehya etgarib 9obi iblibs'ha il banafsiji oo sha3arha il maflool 3ala chatf'ha......
Bs knt abe a5ith'ha ib 7'6ne oo mahidha law shee9eer..................bs eshfeeha...?!
I got home oo nezlat Dana mn ilsayara,
"mara7 etyee...." she questioned.
"la2 3ndy sho'3l...."
"bye....." i said as i drove ib no9 wa3ye mo 3arif shasawy.
I stayed on the line but the only thing i heard was 60006 60006 60006......
I tried several times bs ham maradat. Laikoon 9ayer feeha shay.....a5af ta3bana.....ymkin a7ad em2atheeha.....
I called her for the fourth time.......
But the line eventually disconected. Mako 7al '3air enne i msg her
lulu.....eshfeech matredeen.?? 9ayer shay feech shay....3afya goleele ga3d 3ala a39abi
I drove aimlessly with no target, just wandering and not knowing what to do.
7beebte etha ana za3altich aw shay ana asif.......bs reday 3alay a7ibich !!
I found myself barra bait'ha waiting for her, ymkin te6la3 wala shay bs no luck. I dont know how long i stayed there just looking and wondering on what she's doing right now, why she's not returning any of my calls....
My phone rang.....
Bo 3azooz calling......
"esh'hal 9ot......yalla yoba meta betyee el diwaniya na6reenik..."
"kani kani yaay.....masafat el 6ereej....."
"Bo 3abood feek shay....."
"haa la2 mafeene shay.....ana degayig oo aw9al..."
"ee yalla elshabab na6reenik...."
I shut the phone, and headed to the diwaniya. Dashait il diwaniya.....
"salaaaaam......." i raised my hand 3ala il kil oo re7t ge3adt. I took my '3itra off ma3 el 3gal oo 7a6aita 3al couch.
"Hala wallah bo 3abood.....zain yait elyoum...." 9aloo7 came over and hit my back giving me a smile. "bnsheg'hom shag elyoum....." he winked at me.
I forced a smile in his direction oo we got up to play a game of kot with the guys.
"Salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam......." all of us said in unison to the man who entered but we didnt lift our heads up, we were engrossed ma3 il li3ib.
"Barkooole shabab ra7 atzawaj......"
"bl baraka....blbarika......!!!!!." we replied.
I lifted my head up from the cards inmy hand and saw 6alal beaming and suddenly everything made sense.
"YALLA EL3AB.....!!!!"yelled bo 3azooz ib wayhe.
I looked at him for a while, then took my '2itra and left.
love u guys ;***
6ela3t mn uni and headed to il 9al7iya 3ashan i pick up ta9lee7y my Kenzo. I will wear the dress to the 3asha bacher.....offff i cant wait to see Feras!!! I miss him......i miss ree7ta oo ebtesamta oo 3yoona......**sigh**
Dashait il 9al7iya oo 7st ib versace oo valentino b3dain 6ela3t 3ashan as3ad 7ag Kenzo foug. On my way, i noticed a tall man, em'3atir oo shakla EYANIN !!! Da8a8t 3ala wayha walla ye6la3 my one and only FERAS !!! 7abeeby...!!!
I walked toward him when i realized that there was a woman walking beside him. She was tall, curvy, with straight black hair. She had a black pencil skirt on and a beige ruffled top on with black pumps oo a red clutch. She was smiling and leaned in and hugged feras.......WHAT !?!
Feras smiled back at her and took from her the chanel bag that she was holding. The only thing i heard from the mysterious woman was,
WTF.....!!!!! Meno hatheee....?!
I looked at the gorgeous woman walking beside Feras.....i cant believe this.....i cant believe i trusted him !! He must have been laughing at me behind my back all the time and giving me all the shit that he loves me and all of that. Akeed 6a3 shlon 7elwa mo ana eshyabe feene....i looked at myself and looked back up at the stunning girl besides feras. I was angry and fuming....!!!!
He saw me.......oo galbi 6a7 il ba6ne...!! He flashed one of his killer smiles at me oo my heart ached.
la 3ain ewazi3 ebtesamat ba3d.....mayeste7e 3ala wayha...!!
I was thoroughly discusted with him. Lafait wayhe oo kamalt 6ireeji chene moo chayfita bss mn da5il galbi kan yetga6a3 !! Lef7atne ree7ta oo zain ma i fainted, i can't believe that i had to find this out ella b3d my i "love him" yes.........love him!!
My phone beeped
Esh7al 7aya.....eshda3wa mata36eene way ;p amoot 3l banafsiji ana.....gomar gomar wallah ;**
I deleted the message and entered Kenzo. As i was checking my altered dress my phone kept beeping and ringing nonstop but i ignored. Waw what a great act he had going that i actually believed him. I just dont get it.....y3ne ayam ilmostashfa oo youm he confessed his love for me ib the parking lot barra il 3rs oo youm i met him gabl cham youm......sheno kan kil hatha...?!? I tried to pull myself together 'till i got into the car and then i lost it. I started crying......i dont get why that always happens to me. Why did i have to fall in love with him.....why now...!!! Laish when i decide to tell him inna i love him oo i want to marry him e9eer chethe....I sobbed and cried like a baby.
I saw my mobile and
4 missed calls from My One
2 msgs recieved from My One
I deleted the messages and headed home with tears pouring all over my face. i almost went against my parents 3ashan 6alal. i decided to tell my mother enne ma2aby 6alal awal ma2arid elbait bs i guess parents are always right in the end. Ooo look at what happened in the end, they were right!
I got home, went straight to the 9ala. I went to my mom who was sitting on the couch watching t.v.
"Hala lulu we9altay....."
"ee umm......dag baba 3ala bo 6alal.."
She sat up straight, "la2 laish...."
I woke up oo re7t elsharika, kan baine oo bain lulu msgat lena ehya bl jam3a. B3d maradait el bait chft Dano na6ratne 3ashan awadeeha el sal7iya ta5th el jan6a.
Waaaaaaaaih y3ne manesat.....!!!
"Feras....!!" she said comming to me. I looked around chena madry mno ga3d enadeene.
"oh hay entay etnadeene.....hehe...Na3am....."
"meta betwadeeni a5th il jan6a elle u promised inik ta5ithly yaha....."
"aham shay "promised".....maknt ib wa3ye ams fa latestansain wayd...."
"Laaaa la sheno feras enta getle ib ta5ithle yaha......" she said as she clung to my arm.
I looked at her innocent eyes and the crinkle at her nose......and i smiled
Hehe....kl hatha 3ashan jan6a.....walla entaw yal banaat.....
"hehe.....6a3 wayhich....!! Yoba ga3d at'3ashmar weyach....goomay badlay bser3a ana na6rich ta7at...."
"Okay....thewani oo anzil...."
27 min later.......
"Yalla Danaaaa ma9arat.......!!!!" i yelled mn el 9ala.
"kani kani nazla offff mafeek 9abir......!" she said as she was wearing her earings comming down the stairs.
We got into the car heading to il 9al7iya .......
"7elwa mo9a7...." she said displaying the bag on her shoulder facing the mirror.
I just sat on the leather couch and repeated the answer for the millionth time, "eee 7ilwa....."
"5ala9 a5ith'ha 3ayal...." she smiled to me.
laaaaaa 3ayal laish yayeeen e7na.....?!?
"akeed.....wala etchaykeen b3d marra bl man'6ara a7san.." i answered sarcastically. She looked like she wanted to stick her tongue out so bad bs el mokan makan yesma7. I laughed and headed to the cashier to pay. I told them to wrap the bag up oo i scribbled 5arabee6 in the card and we headed outside.
"Mashkoor ya a6yab o5o bl dinya kelaha....." she said happily.
"tawich et3arfeen....." i said and raised a brow at her jokingly.
"Hehe.....7abeeby walla....!" she said as she gave me a side hug while we were heading out of sal7iya.
I was walking when i noticed a woman approacing, my body tensed all over, i dont know why. She had long brown curled up hair that fell loosely, a breath-taking smile, oo she had a purple dress on. She walked so elegantly towards us oo i involuntarily slowed my pace, she seemed to be looking at me. Youm da8a8t 3ala wayiha walla te6la3 my one and only LULU !!
Fazz galbi oo I flashed her a smile, i waited for her to smile back bs shalat 3ainha oo she passed me mn'3air ebtesama aw na'6ra aw shay. I stopped and looked back at her, but she continued walking like she didnt know me at all. I stood there confused......shelsalfa....?!
I read the message in my office,
1 msg. rec. from
gabl shwy ra7aw...i'm exhausted and sleepy banam....gud night ;**
recieved 10:25 p.m
7abeebte walla akeed it was hard for her elyoum.......
Sweet dreams....if you're lucky te7lemeen feene ;** call me when u wake up
Gmt mn el maktab oo tma8a6t ***craaaack*** '6ahre 6ag......a77777777!!!! offf bs 5al aroo7 el bait oo anam shakla basakib bl rab3 elyoum
Dashait el sayara oo bl6ereej oo ana rad el bait ran telephone...
"Halaaaa bl m3rs wallaaaaa haa eshlon el zawaj......"
"haha.....lay6oofik el7ag oo tezawaj....haha ....haaaaa wainek......"
"bl6ereej rad el bait....laish"
"la latgoooool ....!!! matabe etye el duwaniya...."
"laaa ta3baan...oo ta3al enta mo tawik m3rs laish yay el duwaniya..."
"eee mo shatha ga3da ehya oo 5alti aratboon a'3ra'6ha b3d maboga shay 3al safra...."
"eee wenta el 9aj....."
"enzain ta3al ...enta betye 7ag el 3asha elle emsaweena 3ogob bacher mo9a7..."
"eee akeed ....awal wa7id ..!!" hehe....abe achoof Lulu ...welaht 3alaiha
"eee 3abale b3d chan mas5artik...."
"laaaaaaa cham 9waili7 3ndina e7na....."
"3abale....enzain ya3ne mnt yay.....al3ab kot ma3 el masa5r elle yammi y3ne.....hahaaaaaay.." he answered and i heard the boys yelling in the background.
"Laaa esma7le bsss mtlayish oo adawer el frash ana...."
"3ala ra7tik hehe shayabt ferasoooooooo.....yalla achoofik bacher 3ayal "
"themala...." i closed the phone as i reached the house.
I entered the house and heard my sister whining to my mother, typical
"yomaaaa abeeeeeeeeha 3ajibatne...."
"entay eshkithir teshtereen 5alajeeen ana ba3arf....eshkithir emkawda jina6"
"ay 5alajeeeen....!!! yoma 3afya 5a6re feeha mn zeman...."
"oo b3dain weyach dano 3awarti rassi......oh feras hala yoma ta3al wa5ir e5tik mene '6eb7atne 7anna....."
"ee b3d met3awdeen 3alaiha hathe awal ma tekalimat oo ehya et7in...." i said as i sat down beside my sister.
"Feras......golaha abe ilchanel el ki7liya 7adha 3ajbatne ...."
"entay mo gabel cham esboo3 ma5thatlich jan6a...."
"ee bs hathe '3air.......feras 3afya goolaha..." she pleaded oo ehya etsa7ib ib eedi.
"enzain enzain ana ashtereelich yaha bs lat7ineen rassi e3awerni....."
"9IJ!!!!!!!!!!!!WANASA...!!!!!!!" she screeched and gave me a hug.
"Dano en ma wa5artai walla ahawin...tara rassi ibyinfijir....."
"5alla9 5alla9 kani ray7a bs kaaa tara omi il shahdaaaaaa......ee b3d motgool chathaba...."
I just gave her in-masekatay-tara-ma5thlich-eljan6a look......oo 3ala6ool she scurried upstairs.
"Ashwaa....mn el3a9r oo ehya et7in yaninatne....." she said as she poured me tea.
"Mashkoora .......agool yoma entaw yayeen 3ogob bacher 3asha 9aloo7 rfeeji haaa..."
"eee shlon manye......akeed benroo7 laish...."
My mothers face suddenly lit up, "meno .....men binta.....7elwa......"
"Ehya Lulu Al-Flani oo 7ad'ha 3ajbatne oo abeech t5i6beenle yaha....."
"weeeee hathee il sa3a el mbarika........oo enta elle etgool laaa ana mara7 atzawaj ella oo ana 30........" she mused.
"eee b3d shswy mob 2eede......" i smiled.
"5ala9 3ogb bacher warni yaha oo akalim omha ....b3d eshtabe...."
"hehe...salamtich yal '3alia......tamreene 3ala shay baroo7 anam....."
"salamat galbik yoma......ta'3a6a 3adil zain....."
Hehe.....7asbalha lail7een yahil ana
"Inshalla yoma....." i kissed her head and went upstairs.
I changed my clothes and fell to bed wearing only my boxers.....i lay there in bed waiting for 9aloo7's 3asha 3ala nar........!!!!
I'll post 26 b3d shwy stay tuned.......!!!
Wayid mstansa oo 7adi bakayiff.....
awalan abe aftak mn el'3bar bs 5alla9 6aggat chabdi....
thanyan abe achoof the new mall malhom oo atlantis oo barkab il metro (madry laish mshta6a !!!)
thalithan meshtahya "7alaab" oo "kanafat feras" (rest. moo the real feras..hehe) oo a7oos oo agiz bl aswega ....6omasha
ooo rabi3an tara amoot bl q8 waaaaaaaaay a7ibha bss 9ara7attan hal sina male 5lg maseera oo 3afsa oo abe artaaaa7......
Eee ooo for my "emarati" bloggers .....eljaw 3ndikom 9aifi....y3ne sho'3ol summery dresses, sandals,shorts oo chethe......??????
o btw tara 7addi i suck at packing....y3ne loya ib my room right now kil shay im7athaf 3al efrash ......ughhh
I'll post elyoum 7agkom bss i wont ib dubai sorry bs ma7ib a5ith technology weyay bl sefar......
Sunday, February 22, 2009
i walked into the 9ala and a "hush" fell over the people sitting which made me become nervous even more !!! As i was walking, i scanned the room and saw my mother, father, 5alti, Om6alal, Obo 6alal(i think), oo obviously 6alal (he looks like he's 6alal...wtv!!).
"Hala lulu ta3alay salmay yoma....."
laaaaa ya3ne basakib feehom ya3ne.....!!!
I forced a smile on my face oo salamt 3ala Bo 6alal oo Om 6alal,
"Salam.......el7amdella......eee.....hehe........ee ashbah'ha wayid......9ij ana macheftich bl3rs.......emmm....."
Maba'3at ethidne.....!!! Ma3 enna shakelha 6ayooba...bssss
I turned my face and saw a tall, asmar man with black hair,eyes, oo gofol oo the whitest smile ever. I thought i heard a **TING !!!** when he smiled. He was wearing a white dishdasha oo
'3itra. He had his arm extended for me so i said "salam" oo i shook his hand nervously. My hand was tiny compared to his large hand. I didnt look him in the eye, i just turned my back to him to find beaming faces ga3deen e5izoon.
Inshalla mo ashkara ya3ne....!!!
I sat down on a couch oo i had to listen to the mothers conversing with eachother oo the fathers talking about bor9a oo as'hom oo stuff. I remained quiet seated in my position and playing with my fingers singing, "8arrart amoot ib 7obak wamshe ma3ak eb darbak enta ya sakin galbi esma7lee a3eeesh ib galbak..hmmm..hmm lalala....hm..lala.." in my head mn el mallal.
"Lulu....." my mother faj2a called.
"Hmmmm...." i said and looked up with questioning eyes.
"Goomaw yoma ge3da ma3 ba3a'6 entay oo 6alal, et3arifaw 3la ba3a'6"
I just stared at her, min 9ijha...!!! Mabeeeee!!!!. Then Om 6alal added,
"weee e7na 5athatna el sowalif...hehe...6alal goom solif ma3 lebnaya e7na laish yayeen elyoum 3ayal....." she said with a wink.
6alal got up from his chair and came sat next to me on the couch. I involuntarily scooted to the side of the couch... shwaya oo a6ee7 bl ar'6. I just stared at my hand placed in my lap chena awal marra achoof eedi ib 7ayate.
"Mar7aba....." came a deep voice mn 3ndy.
"Hala....." i replied.
"emmm....lulu 9a7..?!" he said with a smile.
laaaa.....la la e7lif...!!!! laaaa 7af9a wenta el 9aj.....eshrayik....!!!!!
laimeta bneg3ad chethe ya3ne.....a3arif ismik oo et3aref esme oo ba3daaaaaain
"ana el9ara7a chftech bl3rs oo wayed 3ejabteene....." he added. I looked up at him, why didnt i see him...?! Weird.....
"Ahhh......" i said as my face flushed.
"kntay 6al3a mn el 9ala oo chftich....mashallah kntay wayid 7elwa..."
"mashkoor....." Knt ga3da arid ib kelma aw kelmetain oo bas lena 7adi male5lg.
Waaain Feraaas..!!! Hehe akeed ga3d bl sharika oo ga3id e5a6i6 shlon egob mn'3air ma e9eedoona...hehe
"Laish tebtasmain fee shay gelta '3ala6....."
I didnt realize that i was smiling, i looked up at him and said,"laa mako shay...." oo i lowered my head down again.
Hatha el7een 7asballa ana mayta oo ana msta7ya mayadree enna lay3a chabde.......ufffff 3assa mat6g ergobte 3rj oo ana mnazla rassi...
I reached up and scratched my arm it was itching me.
"Youm cheftich kntay 7a6a bandage 3ala eedich 3assa ma shar....."
"Umm laa bs knt ib 7adith..."
ee ana eshglet.....?!
"ee bs kan basee6 bs el7een mafeene shay el7amdila..." i said and suddenly had a flashback of when i was in the hospital and saw Feras for the first time, o getting my stressball oo smiley face from him. I signed....
"Ummm.......wain tedreseen...." He asked.
I answered all his questions, i felt like i was in an interrogated. That's how the 2 hours went by...BORING!!!! I noticed how he was staring at me when i wasnt looking, or how he listened to me intently when i was answering the questions, he also inched towards me a couple of times to get closer. B3dain it started to get a bit more interesting when he wasnt questioning me and just talked about random stuff. Ya7laila dictor oo akbar wa7id felbait, 3mra 29 (akbar mn feras ib 2 years), he speaks italian fluently etc.....
I laughed a few times 3ala cham salfa oo faj2a omi oo om 6alal esiktoon oo e6al3oona oo yebtasmon. Ana oo 6alal enchoof ba3a'6 oo ne'67ak 3alaihom. Aw ba3dain egoole ala7'6 cham marra omma adjusts her 7jab while talking oo we start counting oo ne'67ak.
"Yalla Om 6alal meshaina...." said Bo 6alal.
"La ge3daw tawa el nas" says my mother.
"laa inshalla el yaya elthanya etkoon jereeba inshalla ..." he says and looks at 6alal. 6alal smiles and nods his head.
They all get up and we walk them to the door, 6alal leans in and whispers to me before he leaves,
"i cant wait to see you again..."
I stood there, in shock with everything that happened. Why did i become nice to him, all of a sudden ! wain ra7 etefa8e enne akoon nafsiya.....?!? Ughhhh.......
I sat on the couch cursing myself when my mom and dad get in and sit on the couch next to me.
"Haaaaa....eshgetlich ana...." she said smiling.
"eshgelteele..." i replied acting dumb.
"getlich enna 5osh walad....ya7lailha omma weneesa wallah....wayid erta7tlaha..."
"Haa bokhalid meta ib tetaf8on 3ala ga9 el mahar....inshalla.."
"Sheno.....!!" i said facing her.
"Eee ba3ad sheno...mayabeela na6ra elwalad shareech oo yabeech..."
"lulu....bas...! ana chftich shlon kntay te'67ikeen weyaa oo etsolfeen weya.....oo embayin 3alaich enich kentay mrta7atla....."
"mako bas entay lat7ateen oo 5alay kl shay 3alallah.....yalla goomay 9allay oo namay bacher waraj jam3a....."
I wanted to talk to her, but i decided to keep it 'till tomorrow, i was tierd matwa8a3t'hom e6awloon hal kithir.
I went up to my room checked my mobile wala,
2 msg recieved
Haa lulu 5ala9taw.......6amneeny ga3id 3ala a39abi okay 7beebte ;*
sent 7:10 p.m
Ma38oola lail7een mara7aw....eshyaboon ..!! Tara welaht 3alaig 7adi 7adi 7adi oo abe aklich emmmmm...;)
2 missed calls
8:30p.m and 8:58p.m
I took a long steamy shower then washed my face, changed to my P.Js and tucked myself to bed.
gabel shwy ra7aw......i'm exhausted and sleepy banam .....gud night ;**
sent 10:25 p.m.
i lay there in bed, i hated the msg i sent Feras bs i could'nt say anything else i felt like i betray him in a way oo i hate it........i hate that i'm doing that to the person i'm comming to love dearly !
laa wallah 6ela3 6oweel el post.....hehe endimajt ;p
luv u guys oo enjoy ;***
I woke up the next morning with three messages from Feras.....
3 msg. rec.
samaitich "My Only" 3ala my mobile.... yah yah esh3alaaaaaich ....;***
ree7tich kl mokan 3ala my t-shirt shakly banam feeha 3ashan a7lim feech.....;*
sent 2:55 a.m
good morning ya 3asal......goomay bassich nom yal ba66a ;p
sent 9:15 a.m
I smiled reading the messages,akeed the last message 6arasha bl 6ereej 7ag el sharika....hehe embadi3 hal walad! I have to reply but what will i do.....i have to tell him that 6alal is comming today.
goodmorning oo enta ba66a..;)) feras ....6alal is comming today so i'll be busy oo i wont be able to reply.
Miss you ;*
Message sent 11:12 a.m
I decided to skip uni today, 7addi i'm not in the mood oo besides i only have one class scheduled today so mara7 e2ather. I called Jana and filled her in with the latest updates and she volunteered to help me pick my dress and all that stuff. I dont really care how i look, i just want to get it over with.
"teslam eedich yoma....." i said as i got up to wash my hands.
"degeega 5alich shwy..."said my mom. I sat down eyeing my brother but he just shook his head, he didnt know why too. "Umm....khalid goom yoma ana oo obook nabe lulu ib kelmat raas..."
"Inshalla yoma..." Khalid got up, I looked at him with my eyes pleading for him to sit but he just shrugged and left.
waaai3 killish moo nafi3ny ib shay........
"Lulu 7abeebty elyoum enshala etchofeen 6alal oo ahala ......" my mother started.
"emmmm......" looking at my plate.
"ana oo obooch tekalamna ams oo etefa8na enna mara7 etlageen a7san mn 6alal....oho wld 7alal oo 5osh walad....." she waited for me to reply but i said nothing.
"Lulu baba e7na nabe ma9la7tich oo entay refa'6tay wayd nas zaineen bs b3d laimeta chethe lazim etroo7een wara na9eebich......" said my father.
bsss na9eeebe ma3 feraaaaaaaaaaas !!!!!!!
"ehmm....." i mumbled still looking at the plate.
" ana oo oboch wayd mestanseelich oo nabee nefra7 feech oo nchoof 3yalich.......ne6arna wayd ya lulu.....abe achoofich 3aroosa....." my mom added.
My eyes started tearing up, this was too much, omme oo oboy marra wa7da oo theyre practically begging me to say "yes" !
My father called me, "lulu ta3alay.. ta3alay baba....." he said as he tapped his hand on his lap. I went to him, sat on his lap and hugged him like i was a baby all over again. He stroked my back and whispered, "wallah oo benti bet9eer 3aroosa......oo a7la 3aroosa ba3ad..."
I cried 3alla 7a'6i il 5ayis......i cried 3ala nafse.......oo i cried 3la feraaas.....7beeby....
I don't know what to do.......wallah i don't....!
"Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaah gomar gomar wallah......" cried Jana beaming.
"Janaaa....." i said and gave her a na'6ra.
"waaaai 7abeebte madry shagoolich oo law knt mokanich ham madry shasawe bsss hatha mayimna3 enne at'3azzal feech....."
"emmm....." i said as i sprayed perfume over my body.
"Yala my work here is done......lazim aroo7 3ndy derasa ma3 yousef 3an tashree7 oo halsawalif...creeeeeepy....!!!"
"Hehe.....madry shlon bet9ereen dictora entay...ya3ne yassoof okay bs entay....."
"chub ya7mara......hehe...enzain yalla bye oo update me haaaaa....." she said as she headed to the door.
"okay....bye..." i replied.
Allah ewafgich entay oo yousef oo inshalla etammim 3alaikom ya rab .....!
I went and faced the mirror, i wore a navy knee length dress with silver heels. Jana curled my hair for me and it dances all over my face, i decided to let it flow loosely with no accessories. I applied smoky eye shadow with nude lipstick and blush. The make-up was applied to a minimum, i liked it simple. I wore my saphire earings and necklace that my mother 6ale3atly mn el tojoore. I stood there just staring at my reflection when my phone beeped....
luluuuuuuuuuuuu tawne achoof ur msg knt ib a meeting oo oboy 7akirne 7akra magdrt a6la3...!! Bs knt sar7aan feech fa gazart roo7e shwy ;p Call me youm 6alal oo hala they leave....i'll be waiting....
Miss you too ya 3yoon feras entay...;***A7bich
A tear dropped from my eye onto the mobile screen, then more followed. I quickly went to the bathroom and dabbed my eye carefully so i wouldnt ruin my makeup. I came out to find my nanny with il mob5ar ib eedha. I took it oo teba5art.....
"Mama say come down......"
My heart started pounding, "okay...."
I got out of my room and struggled getting down the stair, my legs were shivering like crazy..!!! I then checked my reflection in the mirror one last time before i headed to the 9ala.
I took a deep breath......and entered il 9ala.....
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I'm glad that i said "yes", nothing has ever felt soo right before...!
The way he held my face, whispered to me, pleaded to me with his penetrating green eyes nasatne kil shay oo i had to say "yes". I can't believe i'm goingto marry him, he's just too good to be true!
I laid there in his arms listening to his heartbeat and enveloped in his large hands. I never want him to let go, but i have to be getting back home soon.
"Lulu..." he said while he was playing with a lock of my hair.
"meta tabeene a56bich...?"
I looked up at him with a smile, "hehe.....kaifik...!"
"ummm....hatha 6alal meta beye.."
"uhhh b3ad cham youm chethe.....laish..."
"emmm enzain.......entay ray7a 7ag el 3asha elle besawoona 7ag el ma3arees gabel ma esafroon...?"
"eee chena Jana galatle 3anna...ymkin..."
"my friend oo il3aroosa et9eer bnt 5alat'ha 3ashan chethe knt ma3zooma bl 3rs..."
"ahhh 3ayal thakreene ashkirha youm lena 3zmitich 7ag el 3rs....." he said with a grin.
"hehe ....aham shay...!" i laughed.
"5ala9 3ayal bl 3asha ana akalim omme 3anich oo etchoofich oo etkalim ommich....chena awal marra achoofich bl 3asha y3ne..." he said with a wink.
"ahaaaa......okay elle etchoofa....3ayal lazem albis 3adel 7ag el 3asha..."
"yoba ebtay 7atta law kntay ib 5aishat bo6a6.... 7elwa....."
"5aishat bo6aaa6....!!!! Eshyaaab...."
"sheno i'm trying to be romantic....hehe"
Mayi7tay you're already romantic.....it comes from within ....!!
"hehe....umm...yalla ana lazim aroo7.."
"laaaaaa latgoleeen...." he said and pulled my tighter. I giggled trying to break away from him but he was soooo strong.
"Feraaaaaaaaas....mn 9iji....!!!" i said as i struggled even more and then tried tickling him bs mako faida.
"hahahha....lu....bas....latet7arekaaain....!!!" i smiled .....y3ne 6ela3 e'3aar.
He finally let me go and i looked at him giggling at the sight of him....wallah he looks just like a baby...!!
"Ufff sha3rich dalda'3 ergobte oo entay tet7arekain...'6eba7teene..." he said running his hands over his neck.
weeee y3ne makan ye'67ak min my tickling...kan mn sha3re...
He picked up the emty Krispy Kreme bag, opened the door but before he went out.....he pulled me to him, kissed my head and whispered, "ra7 ashtaglich ....."
I didn't say anything, i just inhaled his perfume like a drug to me. He pulled away and got out of the car. I just sat there gaping at his back...his killer back! It was broad and soo manly ....they way a man's back is supposed to be!
I turned my car on....and backed up when my phone rang.
I picked up the phone and he told me that he'll follow me home 3ashan yet6amman. Although it was a short ride home, we burst into laughing 3ala meyanta oo sowalfa il 3abee6a oo shlon kan esawe 7arakat bl sayara. I loved it....i loved every part of it!
When i entered il fereej he moved slowly behind me oo youm sefa6t sayarte he continued the fereej and went so people wouldnt suspect anything. I finally closed the phone ba3ad the most silliest 7owaar ever......
"la2 yalla bye...."
"Hahahah okay yalla mn 9iji bye....."
I closed the phone and decided to change Feras's name on my mobile. I sat there thinking of what to call him but i just call him with what i feel towards him.
"Feras" name contact changed to "My One"
Dashait el bait oo el emtesama shagga wayhe, walla achoof my mom oo elebtesamma shagga wayeha ba3ad.
"Halaaaaaaa yomaaaaaaa....." i said as i kissed the crown of her head.
"Hala hala lulu......" she replied beaming.
"eshfeeha om 3abdullah mestansa elyoum.....haaaaaaa"
"ella 6ayra mn el far7a........tawa sakart el telephone mn om 6alal oo bacher yayeen echofoonich...!!!"
"lulu matet9awerain eshkithir ana oo obooch mestanseen ennich tabeen ta5theen 6alal......5osh e9bay wallah....."
I looked at her and saw how happy she was, i suddenly realized that i've never seen her this happy before.
"Eee met2akda enna 5osh e9bay....."
"5ala9 yalla roo7ay namay 3ashan bacher yamdeech etsaween sha3rich oo et6al3eenlich libs oo chethe......"
"inshalla......" i murmured. I got up and went to my room. I was scared.....scared of what might happen tomorrow. Scared of enne a5ayib '6an ahale.....
I changed my jeans to comfortable PJs but didnt change my top. I crept into the bed and sat there thinking as Feras's scent lingered on my black top.
Friday, February 20, 2009
please say yes.....please say yes and i'll be the happiest man alive !!!!
She just looked at me and i couldn't read her face. i didn't know if she was shocked, happy , sad, scared........it's killing me. This is killing me......why won't she speak.....?!? We just sat there facing eachother with my hands cupping her cheeks and our faces dangerously close. Doesnt she want to marry me.....am i too inlove with her that i got caught up in the fantasy that she wants me too....?
"Do you....?" i whispered again and i've never been afraid my entire life. I dont know what i'll do if she said "no", how can i live my life and pretend that she doesn't exist....the love of my life exists...!!
"Feras....." she whispered letting out a shaky breath.
"Do you ...lulu....do you want to spend the rest of your life with me...?"
Tears welled up in her eyes, "Feras....i want to....i WANT to so bad...but....?"
"ana lail7een marefa'6t hathak...i cant promise you anything right now...."
"bas you will say "no" to him right....." she nodded her head "3ayal laish .....laish matwaf8een....."
"It's just-the things you make me feel-it's so strong-it frighten's me. What if i can't have you....i can't bear even thinking about it. The feelings i feel toward you are so strong and intense but i dont know if its enough....i'm not sure...."
"Lulu..lulu lulu.... you will have me....hell, you have me right now....!! I will love you and protect you oo ana met2akid enna you'll love me back ....i can see it in your eyes....oo the feelings you're holding for me now are enough, i dont ask for more, all i need is you.... only you!"
"3mry maknt met2akid 3ala shay halkithir ib 7ayate.....haa lulu eshgeltai "ee" wala "la2"...."
Her eyes welled up even more, she blinked and tears escaped her eyes warming my hands that were cupping her cheeks.
"Yes,"she said, nodding furiously. "yes, yes, yes...!"
I felt like my heart slammed against my chest,
she said yes...she said YES !!!!
I smiled and kissed her damp eyelids, then her funny- looking nose,
"thank you, thank you , thank you......mara7 tet7asifain...i promise...!"
I said then pulled her into my arms and held her closely as i inhaled in the fruity scent of her hair. This is heaven....this is the reason i was born for....this only his. I hesitantly pulled away from her and looked at her face. She was beaming and she had the most beautiful smile on her face.
"a7ibich .....amoot feech...." i said as i kissed her forehead. She rested her head on my chest as i cuddled her. Our ga3da killish moo moree7a being in a car. "umm lulu....e7na eshsalfatna ma3 il parking lots...?!"
i reacalled our encounter last night with her red dress ....and today's meeting and all of them took place in a parking lot..!!
"Hehe....madry...!! Bs i like it....!"
"hmmmm....shakilna bensawe il 3rs bl parking lot ba3ad...."
Magdar at5ayal.....mane gader at5ayal walashay.....oo entay ib eede! Mane gadir at5ayal ennich ra7 etkooneen lee ana oo bas....7ag wala a7ad thany.....
El7areem i have to say eshawgoon with their 3abayas oo their shailas ga6eenhom 3ala roos'hom ga6 (y3ne mo mt7ajbeen) oo it's cute.....
oo the guys 7adhom razza with their dishdashas oo '3itra's bs i have to say il men from qatar have funny hair !!! y3ne it's tooooooo long oo it curls 3al a6raaf ta7t el'3itra....!! FUNNY !!
oo they are wearing dashadeesh 9aifiya, incase you can't recongnize them, oo they stand out mn b3eed. oo e'6a7koon shlon ga3deen bl cafaaihat oo 36al3oon el 7areem (q80's) a7is'hom egooloon esh'hal mafasee5...!!!! Akeed 3ndihom 3i6la wala shay.......bs mabeehom eroo7oon wala wanasa chethe......el6al3a feeha action shwaya ;))))
A7ibkom yal 5aleejieeeen.......;****
P.S. i'll "try" to post elyoum etha medane....!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Elmohim........read and enjoy !!!! ;))))
OH MY GOD...FERAS........ABAI GALBIIII...a7777 galbi.!!!
He was completely transformed! Makan emdashdish, kan labes sweat pants, oo Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt. His dark hair shimmered under the moonlight and his piercing green eyes glistened.He looked like a model, a sexy one ! I can't believe that this hot guy is on the phone with me, smiling at me, heading towards me ....
I looked at my reflection in the mirror, 7ada ohwa a7la mene, eshyabe feene ana madry . I heard a knock on the window, i turned my face and saw Feras peeking through the window with one of his killer smiles. I shuddered and nodded clumsily. He opened the door oo lef7atne L'HOMME perfume YSL.....oo de5t. He settled himself in, closed the door and looked at me and his eyes twinkled !!
I gasped.....i can't breath...!
He said something but i couldn't hear him from the thundering sound of my heart. It filled me and the only thing i heard was my thumping heart, his sizzling perfume smell, and looking at a dream....an unbelievable one !!
The way he was at me started to make me feel dizzy....so i sighed !
I decided to go for the casual look today, since i wont be heading to il sharika elyoum. I grabbed the driver's car since mine was still at the garage and headed to the jam3iya. I was so irritated with the traffic, i just wanted to get to her as fast as i can. And when she called me i thought i was dreaming, and when i heard her voice te2akadt inna i was dreaming!
I can't believe i'm going to see her....!!
When i finally got to the supermarket i headed to her parked car and she saw me and couldn't take her eyes off me. She must be so nervous o ten6ir el fer9a enna ten7ash feeha. I could also hear her breaths quicken, when i hopped out of the car, over the phone. She looked at me like i was a monster ! I just smiled and knocked at her window then got in. After settling in, i turned and looked at her.
Moo ma38oola kel ma achoofha etkoon a7la oo a7la......
Something was different about her today, mabey it was the way her thick waves fell loosely around her face. Or that she had this sparkle in her eyes, or the way her lashes seemed to look longer. Ymkin lena she was casually dressed with a simple black top and a pair of jeans.It could be the way she gasped and sighed. The sounds were the sweetest and softest sounds my ear ever heard but it was pure torture to my body.
"Ayal shay6ana 9ibagteene...." i said trying to get her shwaya out of my mind. But she wasnt helping at all. She just stared at me with her wide brown eyes. She was clutching at the steering wheel and her knuckles were white mn kithir ma she was holding it tight. Shakilha wayed mertabka oo I just wanted to reach out and hug her into a warm embrace and never let go.
I contemplated what i had to do in order to do this. First, i'll have to untangle her fingers from the steering wheel, then i'd have to pull her towards me and i'd also have to lean into her. Then she would come right into my arms-where she belongs. Should i do it....?
I looked at her and she looked so innocent with the way she was looking at me and blinking softly. No....i shouldn't !!
"Umm Lulu....?" i asked again to somewhat help occupy my brain besides how to hug her.
"Hala....." she replied in a soft tone.
"Eee laish....?" Okay ashkara she wasn't chan radddat 3ala so2aly tawa msa3.
"Umm...la walashay....shlonich 9ertai a7san el7een..." i asked as i pulled out a Krispy Kreme doughnut from the bag that i brought with me and munched. Yo3aaan !!!
"Abai Feras sheno hatha...." she asked giggling.
"sheno...hatha....umm esamoona doughnuts oo latheeeeeeeeeeeeth......" i joked as i chewed and savored the sweet taste of it.
"laaaa...e7lif ?! min wain 6ala3ta....."
"mo5bate...." i replied my voice muffled.
"waaaai yalmaleeee8....."she said smiling.
"mo kithrich....hehe...enzain latlefeen wetdoreen adry ennich tabeen....mo 9a7..." i said and waved the bag infront of her face. I didnt wait for her to reply, i took one glazed doughnut and handed it to her. She took it from me and her fingers accidently brushed my hand and my body tingled all over!
"offff yabeela ba3ad wa7da......" i said after licking my fingers and munched on another doughnut.
"Tawek makel wa7da...." she said as she nibbled on her doughnut.
"sheno wa7da matwafe weyaay...."
"abai et9adeg moo layeg 3alaik enik ekkeel" she said then munched on the warm glazed doughnut.
"walaaaaaaaaaaain ma7ad ebya36eene 3ain '3airich entay...."
"laish balla ana gelt shay '3ala6....."
"laaa oo inshalla matakleen chethe ya3ne........5o ge6eeha ib 7aljich marra wa7da moo ga3da etlag6een feeha sina...." i said as i stuffed the whole doughnut in my mouth.
"hehe....feraaaas....abai maynoon....shway shway!"
"mmmmmmmmm 3ajeeeeb......" i said as i swallowed convulsively. She also ate the last chunk of her doughnut then smiled. "laish et'6e7keen...." i asked with a grin.
"laaa wala shay bas a'67ak 3alaik...."
"laish galolich 3aragoz oo ana madry...."
"hehe laa bs etshawig....." she said as she turned her face and looked outside. My lungs filled up with air and i thought that i might drown from it.
Ana ashawig.....?!? Hehe......
"ee ba3ad t3arfeen eshloon....." i said as i raked my hand over my "dirty look" facial hair.
She just stared at me hard then said, "esh'hal '3oroor....."
"ee ba3d e7igly.....mo nafsich...." i mused.
She gasped, and i could see her eyes fill up with anger. 3a9abia elbnaya mako fayda feeha.....
"agool lulu eshrayich et6al3een il stress ball......tara el7een wagt'ha...." i kept pushing her.
She started to turn red, and just stared at me with her eyes wide open.
"Tabeene a6ali3lich yaha....."
"Feraas !! Stop it ga3d etnarfezne...."
"Eee kalaina oo sheba3na....."
"Feras....wallah mn 9iji.....!"
"Lulu....ga3d at'3ashmar weyach eshda3wa...." she didnt reply but kept her eyes fixed on me filled with fury.
Cute !!!!!! (i seriously should stop saying this word)
I leaned in towards her, "lulu bala dala3......knt at'3ashmar...."
She turned her face away, "killish mo wagt '3ashmartik tadre enna elle feene kafeene..."
I put my hand over her shoulders and twisted her so she was facing me, and i leaned even closer, "eshda3wa lulu.....tez3ileen mene ana....." i said with my puppy eyes, it always seemed to work with my mom. Bs laaa hathe 3aneeda! I stroked her cheek and got even closer 'till our noses slightly touched, "asif....7agich 3alay.....bs entay haday shway....oo ana arta7..." i whispered gazing into her eyes.
i could see her eyes and they looked like they were melting and her gaze seemed to pour into me. Her breaths quickened and she seemed to be dazed. I just looked right back into her eyes waiting for her to speak.
"3yoonik....." she murmured.
"green....i know...gelteele mn gabel...." i said with a lopsided grin.
She smiled......finally !!!
"way fashla abai Feras...tet'thakar...." her smile grew even bigger.
Oho fee shay ma2at'thakara......
"Akeed.....sheno 5ala9 re'6aina....."
"ok yalla 6al3ay your stress ball 3ayal...."
"FERAAAS..!!!" she said as she swatted my shoulder.
"Sheno 7aram achoof'ha ya3ne.......bat2akad ithe yaybat'ha wala la2....."
"yahel yahel.....kahee beljan6a...." she reached and put her bag into her lap digging for the ball.
"Olaaaaaaa hathe jan6itich.....?!?"
"Eeee.." she said still searching for the ball.
"jan6at sefar......shet7e6een feeha....?!?"
"entay ya jan6at sefar aw jan6a kobor el book.....mako 7al wasa6......"
"Legait'ha...!!!" She pulled the ball and played with it in her hand.
"Eeee zain legaiteeha ib hal jan6a.....maskeena" i said as i took the ball from her and played with it.
She sat there quietly looking at me fooling with the ball, "Feras....."
"mmmm eshra7 ensawe......?"
I looked up at her and smiled,
"mayabeela so2al.......etref'6een hathak...oo etwaf8een 3alli eyeelich ba3da....."
"HAAAA.....?!? Awafi8 3ale ba3da .....laish..?!"
"lena elthanee emoot feech oo m6ayratla 3agla 3ashan chethe....."
"emmm la2 .....feras goolee sheno ana '3a9ib baftak mn wa7id eyeele wa7id thany..."
"laa tara az3al chethe......"
"feras mane fahmitik ya3ne etgoole ennik tabeene ba3dain etgoole awafi8 3ala wa7id thany...?!"
"Eeee......ana wathi8 mn el thani...."
She appeared to be taken back then turned to me....."enta el thaneee...."
"eeee ana lulu ana ......"
I cupped both her cheeks with my hands, " shhhh.....lulu ana geltlich enna i want you oo mara7 a'3ayir rayee lene 3mre mara7 alagee wa7da nafich ....abeech etkoneen morte, et7ibeene, etebeele 3yaal, t3tamdain 3alay, teshkeele, a7afi'6 3alaich.......abe akoon your stress ball.! Would you like me to be your stress ball....?"
I quickly sprang to my closet and pulled out my navy jeans, a black top, and a pair of golden flats. I put them on and then applied mascara, blush , lipbalm (the usual). I let my hair flow loosely around my face, i was just not in the mood of doing anything with it. I grabbed my black balenciaga bag threw my stuff in it and headed to the car.
i cant believe i'm going to go see him.......
I started having cold feet, what will i do, how am i going to see him, isn't it too soon. I clutched the steering wheel frustrated and not knowing wether or not i should go and meet him. I mean i WANT to meet him so badly, i feel really comfortable around him. Just then, my phone vibrated...
1 message recieved
yalaaaaaa wainich.....laikoon '6aya3tai ee maynoona b3d matenlamain ;p
Ahbal hal walad........7asha moo 9a7ee
I realized that i didn't save his number in my phone so i saved it under the name...."Feras". waw how dull does that sound....but what am i supposed to name him. I don't get what we are, why were doing this...i don't. I messaged him back,
feras metradida madry ayee wala la2, y3ne a5af a7d echoofna wala shay .....
I sent the message and drummed my fingers over the steering wheel,
lulu elle eray7ich sawee mabe a'39obich 3ala shay oo fahmich....tabeen enroo7 mokan thany
I contemplated our options, where can we go thats safe and somewhat secluded...wain ??
la i want to come ....eshrayik jam3iyat jabriya il yedeeda mafeeha wayed nas bl mawa8if kellish..
5ala9 okay.......net9abag 5anchoof meno yo9al gabil !!!!
I giggled, i cant believe this man is in his late twenties, he acts like a baby ! But i like it. I like how he can be serious in some times and humorous and funny in other times.....he's adorable!
I reached the supermarket and parked my car in a secluded area in the parking lot. I looked around searching for his white Bentley but it was nowhere to be found. I dialed his number nervously.....
"aloo," his deep voice replied.
"a-alooo," i stammered. I dont know what happens to me when i'm around him, i just get so
unstable it scares me.
"Hala Lulu...ha we9altai...,"
"a555 9ebagteene....sheno ma6yoora belseyaga shaklich..." he joked.
"laaaa shakoooo.....5o ana bl jabriya baitna b3d sheno..."
"ahhhhh....3ashan chethe....sheno etsaween da3aya 7ag jam3eyatkom..."
"abai feras eshyaab....." i giggled.
"ee agool ba3ad....hehe....enzain ana degayig oo aw9al kani bel lafa.......wain sayartich.."
i was distracted by the sound of his breathing and i didn't understand why he suddenly stopped talking.
"hehe...ga3d agoolich wain sayartich..."
"ahhh.....umm belzawya 9ob elle mafe wayed sayarat.....cheftni....." i peeked through my window and saw a black Tahoe approaching, i squinted and the guy in the car was hot !!! Even though it was dark but i caught a glimpse of him and he is smoking !!
abai lulu...think feras....feras.....
But i couldn't pull my eyes away, i hope Feras doesn't see me gaping at the man's car like that.
Shitt.....maliga mokan yesfi6 fee ella ehnee...!!!
The guy in the car had his mobile on his ear and was smiling, he suddenly turned his face and looked at me, then his smile grew even bigger.
Abaaai amoooot...?!? Waaai bas bas...Lefay wayhich.....3aib...
The guys lips moved, with his eyes fixed on me...
"6ab3an cheftich....!!" I jumped in my seat, when i heard feras's voice on the phone, i completely forgot aboout him, i was distracted by the man staring at me with a grin on his face. The guy got out of his car, and i swear to god, everything was moving in slow motion. He opened the door, got out, grabbed something from his car, closed the door, turned around.....
OH MY GOD.....!!!!
The man stepped out of the shadow,
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
ism il story "My One and Only" oo isim the blog "in my closet".....kapeeeesh !!!!!
lena my friends were telling me oo 9ar feene hehe aham shay isim il 8i9a in my closet ya3ne sheno lulu ibtes7ab feras into her closet wala shay.....(okay that didn't come out right ;p)
elmohim......i'll post 2mro 7agkum kithir ma2agdar 3alaai....y3ne 1...2....3... posts elle ye6la3 ma3ay.....
waaaai3 el7een barid 7ag my project...la 7ol wala 8owata ella bellaaaah *sighs*
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I posted 18 today lena 2mro i'll be BUSY BUSY BUSY oo mara7 yamdeene faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ENJOY ;*****
I couldn't stop crying....god i want Feras and no one else !!! He's the "one" i want, the "only" one i want! After i calmed down, i listened to the other end of the line and wondered if Feras was still on the line. He was very quiet! But then as i listened closely, i could hear his ragged breath.
"Feras..." i whispered. No answer. "Feras...." i called a little louder,"rid 3alay please !"
"Hmm....." he managed to speak. I could tell from his voice, his short breath that he was miserable. I just wanted to get to him as fast as i can and pull him into a hug and never let go.
"Feras....bas ga6a3t galby please...haddi shwy..." i pleaded.
"Meno..?" he muttered.
"Meno elle met8adimlich.."
"ughh...ummm...6alal Al-Flani" i replied hesitantly, when i heard no reply, i added,"et3arfa..."
"ee y3ne cham marra yaay el duwaniya 5o oho weld 5alat 9aloo7 rfeejy...."
"ahhh....." i simply said not knowing what to say. This was really awkward.
"Enzain oo entay eshgeltay...."
God....what am i supposed to say ....i cant lie to him
"i....i....said yes...." i answered hating myself.
"oh...umm...... okay 3ayal....al...allah ewafgich..." he said in the saddest tone ever. My heart skipped a beat and i quickly replied,
"laa2 feras, i'm only going to see him, gelt "yes" 7ag enna echofoone oo achoofa bas..."
"3ayal laish geltai" ee" belbedaya etha matabeena...." his voice clipped.
"magedart agool la2 7ag ommi...."
waw how lame did that sound......
"oo ra7 tegdereen etgoleen la2 youm etgoolich 3ashan etwaf8een 3alaai...."
"....madry feras madry....."
'cause i really didnt know what would happen, i cant promise him and i cant lie to him. I just dont know what will happen.
"sheno ya3ni matadreen....lulu ya "ee" ya "la2"...."
"Feras please..elle feene kafeene..." i replied frustrated from being pushed into something i didnt have the answer to.
"ELLE FEECH KAFEECH !!! oo ana lulu, ana t3arfeen ib sheno 7as el7een ...haaa.." he burst out.
"la2" i answered with a strain in my voice.
"tadreen enne manimt ams ella youm 6ala3t ra8mich bas 3ashan asma3 9otich...tadreen..."
"la2" i mumbled.
"tadreen enne manimt ams mn kethir maknt afaker feech....."
"la2" i stammered.
Just the mere thought of him thinking about me set my skin on fire. And i just wanted him to hold me and kiss me like yesterday. I signed at my scandalous thoughts, i dont know whats happening to me!
"7atta youm nmt 7elamt feech.....7elamt feech!!! oo etgoleenle "elle feene kafeeni" oo ana shetgoleen 3anni.." he exclaimed with the sweetest voice ever.
I dont know and i dont want to think about it......'cause i know exactly how he must feel....
"Lulu etha matabeene goolay....3ady i'll deal with it bs i cant help thinking if you feel the same way about me wala l2.....i cant"
I feel the same way as you....i like you and i'm liking you more by the second. You captivate me with everything you say or do. I'm so gratefull that i got hit in the car walla chan 3mre machftik oo chan i never knew that you existed. These kinds of men "still" existed.
"did you mean it..." i didn't reply ."did you mean it..." he asked again and i could sense the desperation in his voice.
I could'nt help it any longer, i suddenly had a notion to scream "i love you" to him but i didn't it's too early.
"Yes!!...yes! i meant every word..." i cried.
"3yal laish....lulu....laish......" 9ota ga6a3 galbi, it carried alot of hurt.
"Feras...i just met you oo i don't know you that well oo i didnt even have your number to tell you......efhamni bas efhamni....i cant take this anymore...it's too much wallah magdar at7ammal......"
I said and then sobbed, and i cried "the ugly cry" the kind of cry elle etna7ish ay walad mn 3ndch....killish mafeeha enootha aw dala3.
I cant believe he's apoligizing to me......i'm the one who should apoligize ana il 7mara elle glt ee. Mo gadra a9adig enna he loves me this much....i dont know what i did to deserve him. I felt so weak and vulnerable and i needed someone to pull me back up again.....and that person is Feras!
"Feras....i need you so much ......" i just wanted him to wrap his arms around me and calm me down with his soothing words.
"i need you too you cant imagine......i want to be the only one who holds you, kisses you,
loves you.....me.. only me" Feras said as his breathing grew shallow. "i dont want any man to touch you and that's why you cant marry 6alal....amoot lulu amoot!"
My skin tingled all over, this conversation was too intense and really immotional, i don't expect that my body could hold on any longer.
"i want to see you ....now !!"
"wain....?" i needed to see him too.
"entay roo7ay jam3iyat 8or6oba....ne6reeny ehnak oo b3dain ne6la3 ib sayarte.."
"la2 bs fer....."
"lulu...please i have to see you.....and you have to trust me..."
i trust you, i just dont trust myself when i'm around you.....
"yalla ana na6rich ...."
"ok....bye" As i was about to lower the phone, i heard him bellow,
"please yebay el stressball weyach just incase...." Feras mused.
Abai ma9adig hal walad.....he jokes 7atta ib situations like this !
"hehe....ya7alatich oo entay m3a9ba...."
"aham shay...!!! oo 7adda i'll need it daam inne i'm gonna meet wa7id maynoon nafsik....."
"afaaaa il7een ana 9rt maynoon.....ana?...ana!...."
"hehe.....5ala9 ana el maynoona wala tez3al...."
"la2..!!! ana elmaynoon mo entay....."
"hehe ee 9a7 ok yalla etjahezai......bye"
"MAYNOONA !!!" he quickly screamed as he ended the call.
Hehe shakle ana elle ba9eer maynoona ib 7obik ya feras......
I've never cried this much my entire life !
"Mama........."i whispered , "basss....please...."
"sheno.....laish," my mother looked at me with a confused expression.
"i....i don't want to marry 6alal .....i don't even know him shlon an5i6ib 7agga !"
oh no "Lulwa"......thats not gonna be good
"laish matabeen tetzawejain......awalan 3omrich 3omor zawaj, thanian el walad 5osh walad, oo thalithan entay laimeta ebterfe'6een elle yet8adimonlich.....sheno ya3ne matabeen tetzawejain matabeen etfar7eene ana oo oboch......."
She was right, refa'6t ALOT of good men ta8adamoly bs thats because i was first, in a relationship with 7amad, secondly, i suffered from my heart breaking breakup after 7amad......i still do ! And i want to get married, I DO, wallah bs...bs ughhhhhhh madry madry.......ya3ne o FERAS !!!!!! It's really confusing !!!! 7addi metwahga....
I'm not in a relationship with Feras......I don't "love" him ( i "like" him)....i just met him.....he didn't promise me anything....he didn't propose (although it's early...bs still)
ya3ne me and Feras, there is still no "us". He loves me and i can see that from the way he looks at me, talks to me, protects me....
Bas my mom.....!! I looked up at her and i could see how much she wanted me to be happy, to get married, have children. I could never forget her pained expression everytime i refused a man te8adamly. I can't hurt her.....bas ham moo 3ala 7saab my happiness and life.
"Mama...i do...i wanna get married bas....."i looked down, i just couldn't look at her and how weary she looked.
I think i like someone else and that person is madly inlove with me !!
"Bas sheno....? Lulu mama 7abeebte entay choofee, kalmee esh5asrana....ymkin ye3jibich !"
"Lulu....el walad dictor oo fahman oo weld 3ayla oo ahala mo7tarameen eshtabeen akthar men chethe ! " she exclaimed, then she came sat next to me and put her arm around me, looking me in the eye. "yuma....e7na en7ibich oo nabe ma9la7tich oo e7na moo daymeenlich, awal oo a5er shay ebtezawijain oo el walad shareech yabeech etkooneen morta."
oo Feras yabeene akoon morta oo om 3yala.....
i couldn't speak, it was hard for me to breath, i felt drowned and lost. My mind was screaming for me to say "yes...give 6alal a chance" bs my heart kept thumping "Feras....feras...feras..." I squeezed my eyes shut and cried hugging my mother. I didn't know what to do, i just didn't.
My mother ran her hands over my hair calming me down, "ha eshgeltai a5aleehom eyoon.....?"
i didn't answer, i just had my vision focused on the colors of the plate infront of me. "lulu...entay choofai el walad ymkin y3jibich..3a6ee fer9a."
She had a point there, i must admitt. I took a deep breath and said the thing that everyone wanted to hear, "Okay.....elle etchoofeena yuma." I heard her sign with relief, but i just squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lips as silent tears trickled onto my mothers lap.
I opened my eyes and found myself lying on the couch, covered with a blanket. I looked at the clock and it read 4:25 pm. SHIT !!! I've been sleeping for four hours. I got up and went to the bathroom and splashed cold water over my face. When i looked up at the mirror, i gasped, waw i look like shit! Perfect !
I went to my room and picked my mobile and saw 3 more missed calls from Jana. I signed and dialed her number.
"Alooooooo.......wainich sina 3alama etredeen !!" she yelled.
"hala jana.....knt nayma..." i replied, my voice dead.
"eshfee 9otich......akeed omich galatlich ! Lulu bas laimeta... ensay 7amad 5alla9 mayestahal hall 7ayawan tabcheen 3alai hal kithir, oho ga6ich oo ra7 3 years ago...enseeee...."
"laaa jana mala sho'3ol 7amad, oo tara i got over him, bss......waaaai jana...." my voice trembled, " i dont want to get married to 6alal....."
"Laish....ams chefta bl3rs e3a8id mashalla 3alaih !!"
"Jana.....chft....chft Feras ams bl3rs "
"eeeee jana oo i think that i like him, no, i like him ALOT. He confessed his love to me yesterday ta5ayelay ! Oo i said that i loved him back !!!!!"
"WHAAAAAAAAT...?!? shlon oo meta oo laish.."
"salfa 6oweela bs chefta barra el 3rs oo he said enna he loves me oo yabeene akoon om 3yala....."
"laa2 jana.....it's too late...." i said as i held back a sob.
"eeeeeeeeeeee **sobbing**, magedart agool 7ag ommi la2 oo ham ma3arf ra8am feras 3ashan a7achee....."
Jana didn't reply, the only thing that take note on were my sobs and gasps.
"lazem etkalmeena........" Jana said in a serious tone.
"shloooon.....goleeele shloon.....agoolich ma3ndy ra8ma !"
"enzain entay....you...ummm like him....i mean REALLY like him."
"Ee.....jana ee...." i whispered back immediatly.
"uffff esh'hal belsha......enzain enzain ana a7awel a6ali3 ra8ma .. ee ta3alay 3ogob bacher besawoon 7ag el ma3arees 3asha gabel ma esafroon akeed bekoon mawjood !"
"okay bs 7atta law 6ala3tai ra8ma...shagoola ?!? agoola ta3al e56ibne wain ga3deen......mabe i force myself on him, ymkin mo7a6 ib bala zawaj el7een mabe agi6 roo7e 3alaai...."
"5ala9 7abeebte lat7ateen oo ana akalim shatha ymkin et3arfa oo ymkin e9eerle oo ana madry b3d...!"
"digeega....el7een meta 6alal oo ahala beyoonlokom.....?"
"emmm.....ok 7abeebte lat7ateen inshalla kel shay yet3adal okay......"
"ya galbi oo ana akthar......bye"
I felt much better after talking to Jana, i'm sure that everything will turn out just fine. I pulled out my laptop and started working on my stupid Marketing project thats due tomorrow, i have to finish it lena el dictor 7mar oo na7ees beldarajat. Knt mendamja bl project wala my phone rings..
I looked at the screen but it flashed......
Incomming Call 9987****
"Um Aloo......?" i answered questiongly.
"Alooo.....meno Lulu..?" replied the sexiest voice i've ever heard.
"eee....meno weyay..." i replied impatiently.
"hehe....." the man chuckled.
Chuckled....?!? meno hal maynoon......! ugh-oh FERAS !!!!
"Feras....!" i yelled.
"The One and Only....hehe ...umm.....i missed you...."
My breath caught and my heart shattered into millions of pieces, i wanted to scream "i miss you too!!" but the only thing that managed to escape my lips was a strangled cry.
"Lulu gelna walhana bs moo chethe...."he said with humor.
I only heard him suck his breath then gasp....!!!