Is it love..? (15)

thnx for ur patience....;****

ENJOY....
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6alal........



mar wagt oo noora lail7een mad5alat...wainha.? kilshway ashoof ilbab an6irha etdish bs with no luck. y3ne ana bafham shga3d etsawe ma3 hathaak....oo shako etwa9la...!! by each second i felt myself get angrier and angrier...lena ilwa'63 killish mo3ajibne. eyee oo ekalimha jidam allah oo 5alga oo ib kilborood a39ab etjawib 3alai oo laaaaa ti6la3 ma3aa b3d. i took one last look at the door, bs noora lail7een madashat.

offf ana laish emsawe ibroo7e chethe....a6la3laha a7sanle...!

6ila3t barra oo kan ga3d yirkab ilsayara, oo noora wagfa etshoofa, b3dain ebtasamlaha oo misha. Ana hnee mobas kint banfijer....9ij mayisti7y 3ala wayha!!! shift noora, bs kanat ma36antne thaharha, fa nadait'ha...

"noora.....?"
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Noora......


I turned around and faced 6alal for the first time during the milcha today. My heart ached at how well composed he looked with the white crisp dishdasha that he had on, his well-groomed face, his dazzling eyes, but the most warming feature was no where to be seen......his smile.


"Noora...?"


"Hmm....na3am..." i said ever-so-casually. But his eyes werent on me, he seemed to be looking behind me. I turned and looked back, but there was nothing except for the valet guys. "6alal.....?"





But he didnt answer me, he looked back into my eyes and they were.......umm.....scary. the warmth that lurked around his brown eyes was gone, the sparkle was gone, the humor was gone...everything seemed to be missing from his eyes. I gulped and i looked at he grass infront of me, not wanting to meet his eyes.



What's wrong with him...?? why am i scared..its not like i did something wrong....


"Noora.....meno hatha...." he said in a low voice.


"ha....meno..." i said looking right, then left. I had no idea what he was talking about.


"elle kalimach tawa msa3a da5il........" he said staring right into my eyes. I felt so tiny!


"umm....ughh....hatha...h-hatha a7mad...." i stammered.


"adry inna a7mad !! bs mn wain et3arfeena ...."


"jam3a...."


"laish 6agatle 9o7ba ma3 ilawlad biljam3a....."


"LA2...!!! SHAKO...."


"lena ashoofich wayid ma5tha ra7tich weyaa....." i remained quiet and refused to answer him. "oo ib kilthi8a itkalma da5il jidam ilnas...."


"mafeeha shay..."


"noora ...entay akbar mn chethe lat5aleen wa7id egi9 3alaich ib cham kilma 7ilwa...."


WHAT...?!!!! What does he think i am...?!! sheno y3ne ana 5afeefa...



My eyes teared up, why is he talking to me like that. ana shsawaitla.....why wont he just leave me alone....


"noora....noora..latabcheen...." he came closer to me, bs i backed away.


"wa5ir 3anni...!!!"





God...i hate him for making me cry this much. everytime i cry and shed a tear its always because of him, of what he said, did, or didnt do. i am really hating him right now. i tried to avoid him today bs he has to come along and give me this lecture on how to deal with boys. sheno oboy oo ana madry..?!! If only he knew that i became close to a7mad because of him, because im trying to forget him. a7mad is a great guy, he deserves the best and i wont let 6alal talk about him like that, like he's one of those guys who use girls and play with them. But what hurt me most ohwa inna he thinks inna im that naive and dont know about boys or how to deal with them. sheno 7asbala ana....youm egoole enna 6agatla 9o7ba m3 9bayan iljam3a!!!
fee shay magale ya, ana ba3arf ay bnaya tista7mil....ay bnaya tista7mil kil hal7ache eyeeha mn a person she loves......or should i say loved.





"noora...mala da3e ilbache...." i just looked at him with his features all blurry from the tears that welled up in my eyes, then i started walking. I cant deal with him any longer. I felt him come behind me, bs magdar asari3 lena its hard walking on grass with heels on. He grabbed me by my arm, i stared at his eyes and hissed, "hid eede....."





"ahidha bs majawibteene 3ala so2ali....."





"6AL..." before i could reply wala he yanks me and takes us across the garden, to the far end. Where there was an outdoor diwaniya bs beside the diwaniya was a place where no one really went to alot.the kids feared to go there cuz they thought about ghosts and these stuff ma3ina its between the outdoor diwaniya oo ilsoor. It looks okay mn barra where It mainly consisted of outgrown bushes and a couple of trees bs in the inside i admitt, its kind of creepy. "wain ga3d ta5ithny...." i said as i tried to free my arm from his hand that held my tiny wrist. "6alal.....6alal........6alaaal...." bs he wouldnt listen to me nor stop. We got to the place and the smell of fresh leaves lingered in the air. I looked at my heels which sunk into the ground.....the soil. No, i love these heels !!!! i was getting really irritated with this situation, i wanted to cry mnkithir ma mnba6a chabdi. t3arfoon ilsho3oor elle you just reaaaally dont want to be in a certain situation but youre in it and theres nothing you could do about it, that you feel like crying......well, thats exactly how i feel right now. I crossed my arms furiously and looked at him.
He was massaging his head for some reason, anaaaaa ille lazem rasi e3awirne mo entaaaaaa.
" momkin a3arf laish yayibne hnee......" i complained as i shifted from foot to foot, 5aifa 3ala my shoes.

"t3arfeen laish....law kintay mjawbatne hnak ib hodoo2 chan entay il7een da5il, bs 3nadich hatha elle msawee feech chethe..."

"y3ne ana mogadra afham...laish wayid mihtam ib a7mad...?! wa7id oo a3arfa biljam3a oo shifta elyoum oo bas....end of story..." i said wanting to go out.

"Noora...." he said in a low tone that gave me goosebumps, i stopped. "mabeech etkalmeena mara thanya....."

I whirled around oo bagagt 3yooni, "NA3AM,,,,laish...."

"lena mo merta7 7ag elwalad..."

"oo ana shako feek....ana mirta7atla ooo 5ala9..."

"noora...bala 3nad, giltlich sha'3la oo saweeha......."

"sheno oho ibkaifik ya3ne....lazim kila7ad i talk to ayeek for approval...." i thundered back. "wallah 6alal 7achait wa7da ma3ay blclass, shlon a7acheeha 3ady wala la2..." i said sarcastically. When i looked back into his eyes, they were dead serious and he had this look that would make anyone shiver. I immediately regretted mocking him, never mock a man on anything he says...especially when he's mad. "6alal....ifhamni...."

"noora ana a3rf ib halsowalif akthar minich..oo halwalad bayin 3alai mohayin."

"oo enta mn wain et3arfa 3ashan ti7kim 3alai...."

"mn shakla ebayin, 7arakata ....kilshay.....7attan da5il youm kan ekalmich, mo6aree8at wa7d mo7taram ekalim bnaya.."

"oo enta sheno bs fali7 etra8ibne da5il....."

"noora mohatha elmaw'6oo3.....latnarfizeene..."

"ga3da anarfizik lennik imnarfizni ibshakil mo6abee3i....oo imda5il roo7ik ib shay may5i9ik oo ga3d etgool ashya2 abadan malha da3i..."

"shlon mat5i9ne.....entay bint 5alti oo ana mas2ool 3anich 7ale 7al 5wanich ...."

"la2....malik sho'3l..."

"noora ana moga3da asawe chethe elle lene abe ma9la7tich...."

"Waaaai bas...thiba7tne kil kilma oo thnya etgool "ma9la7tich oo ma9la7tich"....a3arf ma9la7te 6alal mndoon matgoole....."i breathed, " oo 7attan law kan 3indy shay ma ayee agoolik enta ......"

"laish...e7ne 6ool 3omorna kina graaab mnba3a'6...."

I looked at him mn6araf 3aini, "hatha kan minziman 6alal.....oo kilshay ti'3ayar..."

"laish..." he looked at me confused.

"sheno laish....6alal you are the one who left for FIVE years....mn'3air matgoole, bs faj2a atfaja2 enna 6alal safar. oo youm tirja3 wala kinnik et3arifne, oo wala et3abirne....oo kilhatha oo tgoole graaab......"

"your mad lena safart oo magitlich.....safart 7ag diraste noora..."

"adry....oo were not that close anymore 6alal. it doesnt work that way anymore, you let that happen, god, dont you see how awkward it is when we are together.....?? its nothing like before...nothing !!! oo you dont know me anylonger....im not the same old noora you knew years ago, ive changed 6alal, the same way you did.." he remained quiet and didnt utter any word, i took a deep breath and continued, " i am going to see a7mad, wether you like it or not 6alal, its my decision and what youre saying about him isnt correct at all....."

" you care about him, dont you.." he said and i saw some vulnerability in his eyes.

It took me a while to answer this question, did i care about a7mad....ya i did, ofcoarse i do. i nodded my head lightly. then it was quiet, just me and him standing between the trees and neither of us said a word.

My phone vibrated in my hand, i looked at the screen and it flashed with a7mad's name. I looked up and saw 6alal looking at the mobile in my hand. i waited for it to be a misscall bs it was still ringing oo mo7ilwa oo end the call ib wayh a7mad. So i answered,

"aloo.....hala.....ee.....la lail7een, umm madry....." i glanced at 6alal and he stood in this weak posture that broke my heart, i dont get why he's acting that way, i mean he doesnt love me and its not possible that he cares about me this much.mara he's mad b3dain faj2a he looks weak. "ha....ee, la i think bil3ashir ilclass...hehe....okay bye...ee lazim aroo7,, 5ala9 okay, bye...." i shut the phone.

" you guys shakilkom wayid close....." he said. i looked up at him, wondering about wether or not he meant something else but his face was expressionless.

"ee i guess...." i said. Here i am with 6alal who once i thought was the love of my life talking to me about a boy and how close i am to him...how ironic this has to be.

"5ala9 aham shay your happy, hatha kil ille abee....." he slowly replied. My throught tightened and i felt like i was collapse right here, right now. thats because i know inna this is it, when i walk out of.....**i looked around** this place, that 6alal will be my past and that i have chosen to let him go. Nothing will be the same...nothing will ever be the same. This is how it will end, a childhood crush that grew up with me and matured along with me into love....will end, here, now, forever. And the person who captured my heart all these years is standing before me not knowing what i have in my heart towards him and during all these years failed to join my feelings. He will get married and so will i, we will go our seperate ways, but i'll never forget my first love...or is it love....? was it something else....i would never know.....
And he's telling me to be happy, well, i would be the happiest women alive if i only i had him, belonged to him....his and him mine.

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6alal........



5isart'ha ana 3arif halshay, 5isart'ha youm safart oo youm rija3t oo ibkilshay sawaita.....5isart'ha. noora kanat tistahil minni akthar minchethe, oo ana kil elle sawaita el3aks.laish youm rija3t mn amreeka ma ri7tlaha oo kalamt'ha , laish mafahamt'ha inna ehya lail7een 3azeeza 3ala galbi mithil makanat mn oo e7na 9'3ar. laish ga3d e9eer feena chethe.....

laish youm agarib minha tib3idny el7een..adry inne ti2a5art bsss 7ata law.....
kanat 3ala6ool weyay oo it3arifne ib zaini oo shainee, akthar mn hale ba3ad oo hadait'ha oo safart oo ma3abart'ha kil hal sneen.

laish youm shift'ha ma3 a7mad i5tiba9t chethe, oo 3a9abt halkithir. laish youm shift'ha ilyoum bilmilcha 3yoone manshalat minha...? ma38ooola ma38oola akoon.....

shift'ha o kanat wagfa oo 3yoonha tdami3, a3ti8id enna ehya tadre enna this is it. ri7tlaha oo misa7t dmoo3ha, rfa3at ras'ha oo chafatne oo laish tawne ala7'6 enha 7ilwa .......? laish el7een ala7i'6....laish!!! Lamait'ha 7ail, oo ehya b3d lamatne....galat shay bs 9ot'ha kan wa6i oo masima3ta.....oo makan ehimni aham shay enha ib eedi oo ana 7a'6inha.
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Noora....



I love you...i wanted to cry out !!!! i whispered it to myself one last time. lena 5ala9 i will move on, im sure of it oo a7mad is a good guy oo atleast he has feelings towards me. But oh how it felt right with me between 6alal's arms taking in all his scent. But he doesnt love me, he never will. i'll always be that old noora he used to tease when we were young, oo now, noora bint5alti ille lazim adawir "ma9la7at'ha".....

I pulled away from him, " i will be happy 6alal..." i smiled a soft smile. But he still had his arms around me and gazed into my eyes, nose, lips, cheeeks, face.....everything it was like he's seeing me for the first time.

"it7ibeena....."

"Na3am...?!." i said surprised by his sudden question. bs he didnt say it again, he just let me go. he cleared his throught several times, and stepped away from me. So, i guess he wants me leave then. I looked at him one last time and ....walked away.

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luv u .........;***

gudnight..........