Is it love..? (1)

Thanx inna u like the story....:**

oo for those who are asking..... yes...it is a true story

ENJOY..;**

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Noora......

I really dont know if its love or not......!!! oo its frustrating..y3ne how can you possibly love a man who doesnt give the shit about you, it's really clear that he doesnt think about me that way. I'll never forget that day, the day i recieved the shock of my life that i'll never forget..!!!!!


1 year ago....

i just came back from uni oo da5alt il9ala and found my mom ma3 5alti ga3deen sowalif.

"Ahlaaaaaaaan....shlonich 5alti mn ziman mazirteena....." i gave 5alti a hug, i love her so much. i kissed my mom and sat on the couch.

"abad bs 7osa 3indina shwy..." she said beaming."tara fara7 yaya b3d shwy...tgool walhana 3alaich chena mo kil youm emjableen ba3ath....hehe" she said as she sipped her tea.

Me and Fara7 have been close since like, forever. We are inseperable. 3ala6ool ana 3indiha oo ehya ba3ad oo manishba3 mn ba3ath. she knows all my secrets and so do i , but she doesnt know that i'm head over heels for her brother. I wouldnt want anyone to know, especially her, i dont want her pity....i dont want anyone's pity.

"hehe 3ady manmil mn ba3ath e7na........enzain magilteele, sheno hal 7osa balla...." i said as i grabbed a handful of cashews in my hand and started munching.

She looked at my mother, then back at me and smiled,"bni56ib 7ag wildi .....!!!!!" she exclaimed.

I was happily munching my way through my cashew, when i heard "ibni56ib" oo "wildi". masima3t sheno galat after that 'cause everything simply shut down.I gasped oo I swallowed some cashew crumbs. I started coughing so hard, agian and again. I thought that i was gonna die, my eyes started to water, my face 7asaita ma5noog. mawi3ait illa 5alti et6ig 3ala thahry oo omi itsharibne water. I started drinking the water, i started gulping and gulping oo the only thing that kept rewinding in my mind was that. "ibni56ib 7ad wildi....ibni56ib 7ag wildi....."

he is getting married....HE IS GETTING MARRIED.....!!!!!

I wanted to gulp some more water, i was enjoying it's soothiness in my throught but i discovered that i drowned the water all up.

"ismilla 3alaich ...b3d 3omry....tabeen ayeeblich ba3ad maai....." said 5alti with concern on her face. i looked at her,

"laa...la 3ady mafeene shay bs '3a9ait shwy.....5ala9 gi3daw mafeene shay....."

Both my mother o 5alti looked uncertain and hesitant, but they sat down. I wanted to break the silence oo the first thing that came to my mind was, unfortunately,

"9ij bit5i6boonla....." i said with my voice so low.

"ha....ee eeeeee wai elfar7a moosay3atne....." replied 5alti.

I smiled, despite how shattered i felt, i smiled and said, "yallah mabrook 3ayal.....mabrook"

The next days, i felt so numb, i was eating like crazy. Ana ele i never gain weight actually gained weight. oo fara7 kept complimenting me about how flattering my body 9ayir with the new-developed curves. But I didnt care, i didnt and at that moment all i cared about was how to keep myself occupied so i wouldnt think about HIM and fall apart all over again. It was hard to keep my emotions in balance with fara7,his sister, who was always around and gagging about how happy she is oo ena his fionce' etshawig....blah blah blah...
I avoided going to fara7's place 3ashan i dont bump into him, 'cause god i wasnt strong...i wasnt strong enough to see him....i cant, i just cant....

But that was inevitable, since i am his cousin, and i am required to go to his milcha and wedding! And how odd and ironic it was, searching for dresses to wear to my cousin's (my love's) wedding.
I didnt see his fionce' until that night where we were invited to a dinner made for a newly wed couple. I wore a white dress, and tied my straight black hair into a sleek ponytail. i had on a red lipstick that highlighted my full lips and brought out the rosiness of my cheeks that started to come back after weeks of looking pale. I felt light, and i just went there to enjoy the night and chat with fara7 and have a good time. i didnt realize that HE would be there and his fionce' too. She was pretty alright, she had long brown hair, big brown eyes, a tiny petite figure but with curves. She looked far more better that me, with my boring black hair, my fair face, and my skinny body with the new curves. Fara7 wanted to take me to her and intoduce me to her, but i gave her an excuse and she went. I stood where i was, and i didnt fail to notice how men were checking me out, and i almost cried.....why cant HE look at me that way....and god why cant i hate him, why....

I turned my face and i saw him...HIM. My heart fluttered, and blood started to flow all over my body ..it was like i was alive again. He wore a dishdasha oo m'3atir, with his gofol oo his million dollar smile, his olive-asmar skin complexion, his dark hair and eyes. I smiled as i looked at him, my protector when i was young, my friend and crush when i was a teenager, my love all along.....but now my cousin, simply my cousin. My eyes followed him as he walked from away from his friends, its been like 2 months since last saw him. My smile faded away when i realized that he was heading towards his fionce', he went and whispered something to her and i couldnt bear looking at them. I quickly turned my face away but still, the thought of him in the same room as i was in with his fionce' made me feel dizzy and tierd and so i left. I took a deep breath and left, and decided to leave behind me everything about HIM and to finally move on.

But a few weeks later, fara7 was with me in my room as i was applying make-up before we headed out and i was shoked with what i heard.

"Noora....tadreen enna o5oy fi9a5 5i6bita..."

I turned around, "what..??!!? meta....."

"wi ! bismillah shfeech......"

"waaai mafeene shay bs in9idamt....enzain laish....."

"emmm madry y3ne elle sima3ta enna elbnya galat inna matabee oo chethe eshdarani ana....." she shrugged. "mako na9eeb....."

I nodded my head looking at her, and my mind raced with thoughts.......
He's no longer engaged to get married.....

There still might be a chance.......

there still might be a chance with 6ALAL......

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Thank you......

Luv u ....:*

Gudnight......